Individual Miserableness Scales
Miserable Vinnie, on a scale of zero-to-ten.
0- Mouse feels no pain or anguish. Normal demeanor.
1- Maybe some itching from flea bath, but nothing unusual.
2- More itching.
3- Again, more itching. In places mouse can't get to.
4- Some pain. Will most likely hide in order to appear macho and perfectly fine.
5- Some activities impaired. Fellow mice will notice change in demeanor.
6- Half of all activities impaired. Only a retarded wombat would not notice demeanor.
7- Almost all activities impaired. Mouse is clearly in pain, will protest treatment and all medications.
8- Almost all activities impaired. Mouse is whimpering in pain and latching on to person with pain medication.
9- Mouse howls in pain when moved, wishes to write will and shoot self.
10- Mouse is screaming in pain, wants to die.
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Miserable Charley Scale- from zero to ten.
0- No irritation or pain. Normal, sarcastic demeanor.
1- Small amount of irritation.
2- Normal amount of irritation from, say, a monthly bleed.
3- Again, normal irritation from bleed. Maybe some cramps.
4- Not comfortable, but hides it as being "normal".
5- Visibly in pain, wants to take a Tylenol and sleep.
6- Visibly in pain, wants to take morphine and sleep. Mice will insist on taking her to hospital.
7- Whimpering in pain. Wants to sleep. Mice having nervous breakdowns.
8- Whimpering in pain constantly, refuses to let singular mouse leave her side. Wants to throw self out window. Mice refusing to leave her side.
9- Sobbing into teddy bear, thinks she's dying. Mice having fits.
10- Wants to die. Mice having sympathetic pains.
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Miserable Throttle Scale- zero to ten.
0- Feels fine.
1- Feels okay.
2- Feels.. okay.
3- Feels.. uhm.. so-so.
4- Feels rumbly.
5- Feels extremely rumbly. Will not ride bike. Fellow Mice take notice.
6- Is not feeling good. Seriously ponders pilfering pain medications from Charley's cabinet.
7- Is not feeling good, at all. Laying down on couch, ignoring large buffet in front of self.
8- Wants to bash head against wall. Moaning occasionally. Fellow Mice panicking.
9- All-out squalls and yelps. Thrashes his head around. Fellow Mice biting off fingers and whimpering.
10- Screaming in pain, shouts that he's dying. Fellow Mice privately want to bash his head againt wall.
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Miserable Modo Scale- zero to ten.
0- Feels a-okay, quite cheerful and hungry.
1- Not as hungry as before. Still cheerful.
2- Not quite as cheerful or hungry as before.
3- No appetite, wants to sleep.
4- No appetite, too tired to sleep, feels cranky. Other Mice notice his crankiness. Give him ice cream.
5- No appetite, doesn't want to leave bed, doesn't want to watch Bomb. Other Mice take notice.
6- Complaining of pain. Other Mice call Charley over.
7- Complaining of pain, begging for someone to do something. Other Mice starting to get very worried.
8- Whimpering in pain, writhing around and quietly wishing for his Momma.
9- Crying, pleading and generally looking pitiful. Other Mice and Charley panicking.
10- Bawling and shouting in pain. Refuses any contact even that which he asked for.
OMG! **is laughing hysterically!** This is TOO good! XD
To fight and conquer in all our battles is not supreme excellence; supreme excellence consists in breaking the enemy's resistance without fighting. - Sun Tzu