*It was a classic scenario. I'm stuck in my home, and its raining. I'm so sick of rain! I sigh, head for the kitchen and grab a can of coke. My three story house was comfy, but open. But I wasn't complaining. My bills were low, my career was on a high, and I was happy all round... except for the rain. Lightning flashed ever closer, and I shivered. I didn't like thunder. I gently wound up my 1905 Edison Phonograph, and placed my favourite cylinder onto it. My plucky machine plays so well, its not funny. While it turns, I crash onto my bed, my drink landing on my bedside table without spilling a drop. Day time storms were slightly better than night time ones anyway.
I sighed, the cylinder ended, and I stood, plucking the reproducer off the record, which I gently slid back into its cardboard home. Suddenly, the room lights up, followed by a collosal BANG!
I dived for my bed, hiding under the covers...
*I huddle in my bed and wait. The storm soon dies down. I pick myself up, straighten out the things that blew over in the storm, then head downstairs. My record collection is one thing I'm proud of: 1000 discs of vynil, about 200 discs of shellac. Today though, I need something to cheer me up. And with a slight KERRUMPH, the sound of K.C. And The Sunshine Band oomfs its way out of the speakers. I grin and sing along to That's the way I Like It, not seeing the shadow creep up the walls...*
"Well praise the great wolf, at last, civilisation".
I stand at the front door to the house, absolutely dripping wet, and shivering to the bone. I know I'm a wolf and that I have thick fur, but get that thick fur wet, and I feel the cold just like anyone else, I manage to raise my paw and knock at the door, hoping against hope that the occupants of the house are at least friendly, and at the very least allow me to call the breakdown company.
*I take one look through the fly screen door...and scream like a girl!*
omg omg omg omg...
*I'm scared outta my wits, I don't know what to do...then I faint*
I call out.
"Hello, is anybody home?, my car has broken down and I was just wondering if I could call the breakdown service, I will pay for the call. Please, I'm soaking wet, I just need a phone".
Five minutes go by, then I decide that no one is home so I turn to head away from the door, as I turn, my eyes look through the fly screen door just as a flash of lightning lights up the house and the interior, I spot a lifeless body, sprawled out on the floor, so I force the door and head in to help.
I gently lift the body up onto the bed, and head for the phone.
*ten minutes later I awake, in my bed, which is surprisingly warm. The window is open, and sunlight is poring in. I hoist myself out. I having a nagging suspiscion that I wasn't anywhere near my room before I fainted. Suddenly, as I head down the stairs, I see a black, shadowy figure at the telephone. I stop suddenly, go back to my room, and pick up the heaviest thing I can think of: a 700 page compendium of the Solar System. I tiptoe downstairs and sneak up behind you*
WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU IN MY HOUSE?!?!?!
"Hey whoa, slow down, I mean you no harm, I noticed that you had passed out so I broke in, put you in bed and I was just ringing for the ambulance, by the way, my name is Wolfie"
all right... *I drop the book...on my foot*
OW!!!
ok...ok... *gets my anger under control*
Sorry I snapped earlier
*I hold out my hand for you to shake*
Welcome to my home
I take your offered hand into my paw and gently shake it.
"Hey don't worry about the greeting, if I had just woken up and found a stranger in my home, well let's just say that I would have been none to pleased. Now, I was wondering, can I please use your phone, my car has died on me and I've had to walk almost 7 miles in the rain, hence the reason for the 'wet look', I will happily pay you for the call to the breakdown service, and I will also clear up the puddles that I've left on your floor".
sure you can use the phone, I completely understnad. *I hurry upstairs, rummage through a couple drawers, and bring back a hairdryer*
This should help you.
*I smile gently*
I make the call to my breakdown service, then take $200 from my wallet and place it on the table next to the phone, for the call and any damage that I caused whilst entering.
I use the hair dryer to dry the worst of the water from my fur.
"Well it's going to take them a couple of hours to get to me, they will pick me up from here and then take me back to my car, and hopefully get it going again. I can not thank you enough for all your hospitality, I have left some cash to cover the call and any damage that I may have caused, however, if it comes to anymore, please get in touch with me".
I hand you a card with my cell number and details on it
The heading on the card reads
*Wolfern 'Wolfie' Stone-Steel, Professional Bodyguard Services, London*.
Dude, I can't ring London every time I wanna chat to you!
It would cost me heaps!
And it would cost even more to a mobile.
*sigh* If only you could stay here.
I need a new friend...
*My ears perk up
"You need a friend?, mmmmm well things are turning a little quiet in London, and my brother can take over the running of my London operation, it would be nice to spread my companies wings and maybe set up an Australian Branch. Ok, you got yourself a friend, the next thing I need to do is find somewhere to live, somwhere that is not too far from here, do you know of anywhere?"
I've got more than enough space, man. I've got two entire rooms free. You can have one of them.
*I stand and flip on the 52 inch LCD TV*
Do you like South Park?
"I don't want to be a bother to you my friend, but if you are sure that it will be okay, then I would love to move in, but once I get my Austrailian part of the business setup, I will pay all your bills, and I'm not taking no for an answer. And as for South Park, I love it, though the breakdown truck will be here shortly".
Dude, my bills are at record lows. The cash would probably go into a savings account... Or to a new Edison Disc Machine!
*I giggle, then turn my attention back to South Park. My favourite spot to watch TV is on the floor with 3 pillows.*
Want something to eat, my new friend?
"mmmm, I would love some toast, but, you carry on watching South Park, I will be able to find my way around, would you like anything whilst I'm in the kitchen?, I make a mean Welsh Rarebit if I do say so myself".
Are you sure you'll be ok?
*I stand up, switch off the TV and head follow you into the kitchen...and see you're making a large mess*
Would you like a hand?
*Blushes.
"Sorry, my mate usually does all the cooking and food prep, for obvious reasons, but fear not, I will clear the mess".
So, your mate's stuck in London?
Dude, that has to hurt.
*I start helping you clean up, taking in your stunning figure without you noticing. When we finish i head upstair and lie down on my bed, still fully clothed. I hear the steps creak as you come up, then I see your face in the door*
"Um, please don't take this the wrong way, but have I done something to upset you?, because, well you kind of went quiet in the kitchen when I mentioned my mate, do you have some sort of problem with the fact that I'm mated?"
no, no...its not that, Wolfie...
I just wish I could find someone for me...
I mean, who'd want someone who lives at least 80 years in the past?!
*I sigh and sink deeper into the pillows, my eyes welling up with tears. I begin to cry...*
*I slowly approach the bed and sit by your side
Maybe I do know of someone who will be willing to take you as a mate!, as long as you don't mind sharing. You see my mate and I, have what we call an open relationship, which basically allows us to take an unlimited amount of mates.
The benefits to me, would mean that I can keep my relationship with my lifemate interesting, the one downside for you, would be the fact, that you would gain another male, a Rottweiler, in the form of my mate Tony, as for the benefits that you will reap, you will hardly have to lift a paw around the house, you will never be lonely, and on top of everything else, you get Wolfie Steel: Assassin/Bodyguard for hire, widly recognised as one of the best Bodyguards in the business today, just ask Linkin Doberman, founder of the Dobersoft computer coorporation. I also have an adopted son, A wolf by the name of Loboron, but he will be staying in London.
It does sound nice, I'd like a few more friends about the place. Just a side note, with my Edison and my grammy and my desktop, this place is usually full of music. You can help yourselves. I'm also a drummer, but I keep the noise down. I'd like to meet Tony if possible.
*I head downstairs and call out to you*
Hey Wolfie, want some champange?
Thanks for the offer, but I don't drink, don't get me wrong, I used to enjoy a cool glass of Cider, an alcaholic drink made from apples, but then, well then I got my job working for Linkin Doberman and as such, I decided to steer clear of alcahol, for fear that it might dull my senses and reactions, so now all I drink is soft drinks.
You say that you would be okay with Tony coming to stay, if that is so, then as soon as I get my car going, if I may impose on you a little, I will charge my phone up and get everything sorted out, as for my son, Loboron, for now he will stay in London, as I don't want him to miss out on his schooling, but he is now in his final years so after that has finished, I will send for him to join us here, if that is alright with you?
*Suddenly there is a knock at the door, as I am closest, I answer it, only to find that it is the breakdown truck driver.
*I call out to you.
Hey Matt, the guy is here to fix my car, I'll go with him, then when it's fixed, I will return.
*I walk through the door and get into the truck to be taken to my waiting car.
hehe, I know what Cider is, and I can't wait to meet your son-in-law.
Enjoy screwing around with your car!
*laughs evilly then has another glass of champange, looking through your phone's pics. You mate must have been made be Michelangelo and somehow miraculously brought to life. He is STUNNING!!!! Another glass of champers has gone down my throat, a bit more can't go amiss. I grab the bottle and sit down on the lounge, turning the TV on to Family Guy. An hour or so later, and I'm as drunk as an Irishman on Saint Patricks Day. Streams of nonsensical words fall outta my mouth. I switch off the TV and somehow, I manage to stumble up the stairs and end up on my bed, falling asleep immediately*
*After an hours drive, the breakdown guy and I arrive back at my car.
Breakdown Guy: Holy hell, what is this thing?
Me: This thing is a Range Rover Sport, and a thing of beauty.
Breakdown Guy: Well, I'm not saying that I can get it going because I've never seen one of these before, but, an engine is still an engine, so they are basically the same.
*15 minutes of tinkering later:-
Breakdown Guy: Okay, give it a try.
*I turn the key, and push the starter button and am amazed when it starts first time. I thank the guy and pay the bill, then I select drive and head back to what hopefully will become my new home.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..............
*I'm snoring away soundly, the empty champange bottle in the bin next to my bed. I don't hear the sound of your range rover come in, or you come up the stairs, I'm too soundly asleep. 2 hours later, I wake...with a huge headache.*
ow.......my freakin' head...
*I stumble into the bathroom and splash my face. The water wakes me, but doesn't axe the hangover. I grab a souluble asprin from the drawer, wait four minutes, then down it. I stumble back into bed, and pull the covers up. Just as I'm about to drift off, I see your shadow creep up the walls...*
Ok Matt, you are staying in bed until your hangover ends, if I have to, I will sit on your bed to make damn sure that you don't get out of it, and in the morning, you and I are taking a walk
Aww...do I have to?
*I try getting up, but you've pinned me down*
Fine. This is annoying but, oh well.
Wanna join me?
Arbiter
My car dies on the Gold Coast road.
"Oh just perfect, in the middle of a huge rainstorm and my reliable car goes and let's me down"
I turn the key a couple more times to try and get some spark of life out of the 6.5 litre, supercharged engine, but all to no avail.
"Oh well Wolfie old lad, it looks like a long and wet walk"
I get out of the car and makes sure to lock it, then begin my walk to the nearest town.
Vinnie Van Daz (Staff Member:- Competitions/Forum Moderator)